Posted by: Norman Conquest | October 3, 2009

This is State

In the event of Michigan State holding Michigan to somewhere around 0 yards of total offense in the first quarter, there must be a Rich Rod/300 metaphor somewhere. Also, Michigan recievers seem to have a case of the Braylon Edwards hands disease.

Ohio State travels to Indiana where they have enjoyed a home away from home environment in recent history.

Arkansas State seems to have folded to Iowa early and often. But who knows, it’s Iowa. Last week will prove to be a fluke.

VaTech sputters against Duke (this will not last Hokie faithful).

More on these things and others tomorrow. Enjoy.

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Posted by: Johnny Texter | September 30, 2009

Master Plan…Revealed.

QB

Alright. Here’s the plan. I figured out the master plan from the genius known as Eric Mangini. It’s September 30th, 2009 and I can tell you who will be the starting quarterback for the Cleveland Browns in September of next year. I know, crazy, huh? Will it be Derek Anderson? No. How about Brady Quinn? No. Brett Favre? Man, who knows! Let me introduce you to your new QB, Cleveland…Brett Ratliff. I hope you’ve heard of him. You’ll want to buy his #5 jersey next year when we all foolishly believe now that he will be the Lebron James of the Browns. Here’s a little Brett Ratliff info for you…played college ball at Utah, went undrafted to the New York Jets, hasn’t taken a snap in a regular season game. Feel good about 2010 friends? Okay, so now you’re confused. (Understandably so, too.) I’ll explain my madness, and by “my madness” I do mean Eric’s. The Browns acquired Brett Ratliff during this year’s draft, as the Jets moved up to get USC Quarterback Mark Sanchez. (Jets 3-0, Browns 0-3…terrific.) Brett, is third on the depth chart behind now starter Derek Anderson, and recently benched Brady Quinn. After 10 quarters Eric Mangini has apparently declared Brady unfit for the job. Is that why he dropped so far in the draft a few years back? Enter Derek Anderson, who in 2 quarters throws 3 interceptions. It’s just a matter of time…Now, I don’t mean to say that one quarterback is going to save this team. Let’s be honest…Jamal Lewis may be on his last leg…literally. Braylon, can only catch a cold. Our defense? Is that what we are calling it? Maybe Anderson and Quinn split the time the rest of this year. Maybe there’s other intellects in the league who give us a second round pick for Anderson. Quinn, (if he’s smart) asks for a trade. And there you have it. Ratliff steps into his new role next year and maybe we resign Dorsey as the backup. Mission accomplished Eric. The guy who was to start with the departure of Brett Favre will now be your guy to start next year for the Browns. And the rebuilding continues, again…joy.

Posted by: Norman Conquest | September 25, 2009

Tennessee and Florida love each other deeply…Oh so deeply.

Mike Slive is an extremely well educated man.  Dartmouth College,  University of Virginia School of Law and Georgetown University Law Center are great schools.  His background in law is impressive.  This is why we should all completely trust him when he states the matter between Coaches Urban Meyer and Lane Kiffin has been resolved.  The two coaches have been taking verbal jabs at each other for months.  No worries though…it’s over. They’re fine. They’re all good.  Slive knows people, the man is a people person.

Posted by: Johnny Texter | September 14, 2009

The More Things Change, The More They Stay The Same

DrewWhat does Brodie Croyle and the ’08-’09 Lions have in common? Zero. Literally. Brodie Croyle is now 0-9 as a starter in the NFL, and the Lions are 0-1, now mounting an impressive 18 game losing streak. Remarkable guys, truly.  People are constantly scared of change, but there’s good news…Jeff Garcia is a Philadelphia Eagle…again. The Lions gave up over 40 points in a loss…again. The Bengals gave up the lead late in the fourth quarter…again. McNabb and Urlacher are hurt…again. Is it really 2008 again?  Conversely, the NFL always seems to have a sense of parody. We all figured Adrian Peterson would sit on top of the rushing leaders, (much improved ‘D’ in Believeland, huh?) but would you have ever imagined that right behind him would be ex-Bronco, and backup to Mr. “I hurt myself on Labor Day getting my dog out of a fence,” Mike Bell? I love a good laugh! Then, get this…your number 2 and 4 top receivers for Sunday…oh this is good! Patrick Crayton and Tim Hightower with 135 and 121, respectfully. Crayton? Hightower? Wait a minute, who’s that guy in Arizona that’s the number receiver? Larry?  Oh well.  Don’t worry, though, fellow NFL fans. Soon enough the stars will re-align. The Patriots will be the AFC favorites, the Browns will have a quarterback controversy, and Trent Edwards will have the Romo-McNabb nightmares of T.O. whining yet again. Get your popcorn ready for another season of drama! It’s only just begun…

Posted by: Norman Conquest | September 13, 2009

Welcome

Blogging is something I have thought about.  I read college football blogs daily.   In truth, I never wanted to start a blog.  However, wearisomely giving my sweat much like a child-less, seasoned married couple ferociously attempting to fertilize an anxious egg to hopefully conceive a miracle…a miracle was born. And you’re staring at it, new friend. Welcome. Stay a while. Look around. Tell us what you want to see.   And we’ll give it to you…much like the father of that married couple.

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