Posted by: Norman Conquest | October 21, 2009

Script Ohio

Thanks to the fine people at Nationwide, who have also provided me with a ridiculous amount of towels while attending games at the Horseshoe, EVEN YOU CAN DOT THE i!

Posted by: Norman Conquest | October 20, 2009

The Great Columbus Regression of 2009

Dr. Saturday is probably one of the smartest, most unbiased writers in the college football blog spectrum.  Quick witted and spot-on at all times, he is a daily read over here.

His analysis of Terrelle Pryor is not only something we’ve noticed, but is said in ways we just can’t so we won’t bother.  Go there and read it.

In conclusion, The Ohio State University: Where a starting QB as a true freshmen is better than the same QB as a sophomore (not only at frat parties…get it?..yeah…sorry…).

We need Beanie Wells on the sidelines at all times to tell Pryor to become a man a la 2008 Wisconsin.  Otherwise, we just want to be wrong when it comes to predicting the Buckeye future with TP at the helm.

Outside of TP’s personal struggles, there are people simply just not doing their job at the Woody Hayes Athletic Center if someone is regressing without serious injury as Pryor is doing.  Especially when we were told progress was amazing.

Posted by: Norman Conquest | October 18, 2009

Life is NOT fair.

Things are pretty much great in almost every aspect of my life.  Sometimes we are reminded that life is shitty shitty fuck shitty not fair in any remote way.  Jasper Howard, a 20 year old expecting father, getting called to meet his maker way too freaking early by way of stab wounds after an on-campus dance.  What The Fuck.

Thoughts, prayers, wishes go out to everyone who knows him.

Posted by: Norman Conquest | October 18, 2009

What. Happened.

fire-safety-00 This is about all I can think about when trying to analyze what happened Saturday.  The house is on fire, kids.  It looks like it’s time to get the F out.  There are too many questions to even begin any real list containing any of them.

Pryor looked worse here than ever.   The O-line is partially the problem/maybe most of it.   Does Bauserman make those INT throws? Doesn’t matter at this point.  He won’t, probably shouldn’t, get any first team consideration as “Lebron in Cleats” is officially no longer a much of a threat to be calm in any situation that even seems a bit tense.  Frantic decision making supplemented with awful mechanics is no way to be a Division 1 athlete, not to mention starting QB on a team where every year is supposed to be The Year.

We will now sit and watch what happens next.  We will get no inside info from anyone who knows anything.

This is now laughable.  What happened here is worse than what Brees did to us and things could get bad.  Things could get 8-4, 7-5 bad.  We could now be playing the Braxton Miller waiting game for a while.

But this could be part of an important learning experience that will lead us to glory in the future.  This could be a turning point.

Posted by: Norman Conquest | October 18, 2009

University of Pittsburgh: Part 2

7:58pm- I arrive. We walk to a house to watch the Pitt/Rutgers game.

8:12pm- After a stop to pick up another friend, we have arrived at our game watching spot. Two TVs are at the front of the room. The above mentioned game is the focus but there is a smaller monitor with the Yankee/Angels game.

It has never really crossed my mind how much Pitt and Penn State fans hate each other. I have never heard more people wishing to the Heavens for Paterno to die. I have never heard a 22ish year old tell another of a similar age he will go shoulder to the knee in hopes he will tear several tendons in the opponents knee joint. Pitt fans are angry. They found out I am part of the Buckeye faithful, said oh, then promptley directed ther attention back to the Penn State fan trying to throw him out of the room. I will continue to sit and observe the following:

Penn State fan asking Pitt fan: “Are you getting a Big East pizza or a Big Ten pizza?”

After Pitt scored their 16th point, Pitt fan states: “Oh that’s more points than Penn State will score tomorrow, fuck, all season.”

Penn Stater knocks over the Oreo Fudges, Pitt fan says, “Come on, I know you went to a Big Ten school, but seriously?”

Pitt fans who are wearing Yankee tshirts are perplexed with the knowledge Greg Schiano threw out the first pitch at a Yankee game. Things get quiet for a moment. Someone yells Fuck Penn State, crowd of 15ish exclaims approval.

Welcome to the Chop Shop sign causes everyone to grow confused. Drinking increases.

9:32pm- Important to note that at this point I have moved from Oktoberfest to Edmund Fitzgerald for a slight cool down in alcohol content while remaining above domestics in the room. As an Ohio State fan, I admit my college football attention span is growing weak late into the 3rd quarter with Pitt up by 14. At this point, it might as well be 35. Rutgers just can’t seem to do anything regardless of the random fraturnity house scenes and blimp shots of the field ESPN has given us. They’re important.

10:01pm- Penn State fan and I agree on the discomfort we have with our QBs and playcalling. I, in turn, drink more rapidly for this conversation. I just agreed with a Penn State fan.

I can no longer remember how to sit up straight. It is 10:46pm. I should either drink more to gain tolerance or drink light beer.

10:55- Blimp shot of what was just called Rutgers Stadium. I share a moment with a Pitt/Yankee fan on the topic of defensive coverages. I go back to Oktoberfest.

C.C. has given up one run in like 8 innings-ish and the one Yankee fan says he sucks. The Indians fan in me dies 40%. The other amount killed itself months ago.

11:34pm- We go to bar. Mental awareness is sluggish, at best.

12:38am- Pitt fan pays Penn State fan to try to sleep with his ex-gf. No currency is exchanged, however. It seems as if everyone I am with knows it will happen. There is no line. Lion will win on this bet.

In conclusion, it’s not that we all drank too much…it’s that we all drank too rapidly.

Posted by: Norman Conquest | October 17, 2009


Halftime update.

9-7 Purdue. Offensive play in picture:

Posted by: Norman Conquest | October 16, 2009

No Way

Olive Garden Halftime Report Update.

Take your pick: Lou picks ND to beat USC.

Unreal. Anyone else see that coming beside the Irish hall monitor at the school where I teach?

Posted by: Norman Conquest | October 12, 2009

Hail Pitt

Pitt fans don’t seem to care about many things. I attended my first and probably only Pitt game this weekend. I wore an Ohio State jersey as they are playing Wisconsin at the same time. I was able to watch on my iPhone and get text updates from friends. Wearing the jersey would get some negative attention, I thought, but I was willing to make the sacrifice.

Things that happened while tailgating related to jersey:

5 Pitt supporters yelled O-H! I replied with the proper duo of letters.

While at the game:

Pitt loving girl asks me if I’m wearing UConn’s home jersey. I reply I am wearing Ohio State’s home jersey.

Guy from 10 feet away looks at me, says, “Buckeyes, huh.” A massive grin covers his face as he finds one of his friends a few seats away. He then grabs his friends arm and pulls him closer. I see he is wearing Michigan shirt. The Pitt fans yells Michigan to me. He and about 25 others yell FIGHT over and over for 15 seconds. We do not fight.

All and all, I was not looking for any reaction from anyone though I knew I’d get a few. I was very suprised to find out not many Pitt fans hate OSU. Cool.

Posted by: Norman Conquest | October 10, 2009

An Unadvised Decision

Instead of watching the 3:30 games today, including Ohio State hosting the undefeated, yet unranked Wisconsin Badgers, I will be attending the Pitt/UConn game. A Big East battle, certainly. Everyone is in the mix in that conference. Come to think of it…we are almost at the middle of this season and still don’t know much about really anyone. Love the game.

Posted by: Norman Conquest | October 4, 2009

On bye week, Longhorns win

The University of Texas at El Paso suprised the hell out of everyone this weekend when they let #12 Houston earn 42 first downs and still won. This is a victory for many different groups of people: those who love offense, those who hate defense, BCS conference teams, and most importantly, the University of Texas at Austin.

The Longhorns enjoyed a bye week this past weekend and enjoyed a Sam Bradfordless Oklahoma team’s loss to The U (the U is not back yet, they are merely practicing/studying film/lifting rather than stealing shit from others).

The Longhorns also enjoyed a regional campus belonging to their University of Texas system beat the new “other” team in Texas, Houston. Long ago Houston was worth mentioning in relation to powerhouse football teams in Texas. They then fell off the table for many years and then were back for like the last 2-3 weeks. They are now back off the table. This is a victory more for UT than for UTEP. UTEP is not a team of importance right now (see 2 weeks ago when Colt and his cowboy buddies had what should have been counted as a scrimmage against them) and won’t be for many years if ever at all.

This solidifies UT as the only team of importance in Texas/arguably west of the Mississippi this year.

Houston came into the picture, UT saw this from their castle made of burnt orange/cows/farms/etc., sent some lower folk to take care of them as they felt they were not worth Longhorn time. They proved to be not worth Longhorn time. Longhorn time needs to be spent teaching Herbie the words to “Texas Fight.”

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